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Got Goat ?

goat_stupid_smileLet me get something straight right off the bat –

I hate goats …

We all have our likes and dislikes when it comes to our tastes – preferences that is.

Most of us are tolerant of other’s tastes even if we would not participate ourselves.

Me ? I absolutely love grits. A Hamburger fanatic. I also love raw oysters on a cracker …

… but I have not had one raw oyster in over two decades simply due to my own personal concerns for pollution. But as a kid, we would get washtubs full and eat them until we would almost bust.
Apalachicola Florida Downtown Dixie Theater
It was easy to regularly consume loads of fresh, raw oysters as we were living a few miles from the best source in the world – Apalachicola, Florida where the ice machine was invented in 1850. A place so enchanting it found its way into songs by Tim McGraw, Tom T. Hall’s “Redneck Riviera” … even a song in the movie “Road To Rio” sung by Bob Hope as written by Bing Crosby. “We’re heading to Apalachicola F-L-A … “

But I digress …

The point I was making, is that we can crave and find something perfectly normal that someone else finds alien.
oysters shucked
Most of our cravings come from what we had when we were kids. It’s only natural.

What happens when we cannot tolerate something either walking around or on a plate in front of us ? Something so devilish when alive and repulsive when cooked.

There is one source I cannot stand or even want to tolerate. A creature so deceptively innocent on the hoof …

goat_on_pigI hate goats …

Sure – I have wonderful memories of having little baby goats follow us around. They’re cute when little. Their mischief isn’t so damaging when their babies. But the problem with goats is they grow up.

Maybe my base hatred of goats stem from a certain traumatic experience in my youth …

I was waking up one morning on the farm after finally being able to afford a new truck.

I looked out the window from my bed expecting to see the shimmering morning sun lovingly bathing my new truck with golden light that reflected off the clean morning dew.

There was a goat standing on top of my new truck’s cab roof !

goat_on_motorcycleI hate goats …

I can understand if one must live in the deserts of Afghanistan or the high, remote mountains of Peru where cows just can’t make it.

But why would anyone put up with goats if they didn’t have to ?

Especially on a farm perfectly suited for cows and other regular critters. Why goats ???

Have you ever eaten goat ? I have.

goat on a horseGoat is not something you anticipate like you would a good steak.

I was once invited to a back yard grill out by a fellow who was proud of his abilities to grill goat. It was quite an interesting feast … but grilling hamburgers or even cheap hotdogs would have been better …

Is my tongue just wired to my head differently? How can goat be preferred to beef ?

Have you ever heard of a “Goat House” ? NO – “Steak House” – yes !

goat_stinky_cheeseGoat cheese cracks me up. Especially as it is in vogue with the city-slicker foodies these days.

Fashions come and go. This goat cheese fad going on now making it so sheik included in salads and burgers is simply hilarious to me.

A sophisticated foodie swooning over goat cheese is the epitome of going along with something because it is cool to be uncool.

It is usually the same folks who think using the word “decadent” to describe good food is quite sheik. All of us who can actually communicate know if food is decadent then it is rotting and past its expiration date.
goat stinks
Eating goat is fine if that’s all you have to survive. But to prefer goat over a nice steak or even lamb … ?!?

It’s better to throw in a little horse radish … I can dig that …

goat_attack_goatGoats are an irritant.

They are irritating alive and irritating on a plate and irritating passing through …

However, goats should be considered for weapons of mass confusion.

Goats should be dropped onto enemies during open warfare.

Ever hear of someone keeping goats as pets? Goats do not make good pets. They would do better with a kangaroo.

Sorry – but I hate goats

Filed Under: Tony Rollo Blog

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