Don’t Mess with Uncle Ted

| May 2, 2013 | 0 Comments

o_henry_historic_markerI am a huge fan of O Henry.

When a new story comes around with a similar surprise twist which is known in literary circles as an “O Henry Ending” I am always pleased and ready to share it…

Here is a fine example of American short story humor that was shared by Mikala. This form of humor is getting lost in today’s world of high cost special effect driven media.

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Billy’s homework assignment is to think of a true story with a moral so he goes home and thinks about it all night and finally has one.

The following day, Suzy raises her hand first and says,

“My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road.”

The teacher asks for the moral to the story. Suzy replies,

old_heaven_hill“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”

Next is Lucy.

“Well, my dad owns a farm, too, and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched.

The moral is, don’t count your chicks before they are hatched.

Billy is last to speak. He says,

My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam War.

His plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed, with only a parachute, a bottle of bourbon, a machine gun, and a machete. As he floated down he drank the bottle of bourbon.

Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 Communist North Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade broke on his machete, so he killed the last 10 with his bare hands.”

The teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is
possibly any moral to his story.

Billy replies,

“Don’t mess with my Uncle Ted when he’s been drinking.”

___

Category: Tony Rollo Blog

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